Your mouth is God's brothel.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
