Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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