dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize