I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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