3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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