I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
