An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
