she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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