oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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