hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
