If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
