the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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