There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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