my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
