So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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