Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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