giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
