I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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