Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
