oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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