is wine microwaveable?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
