Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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