Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
