all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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