That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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