It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
