If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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