So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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