if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize