I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
