yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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