The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
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I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize