In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
