I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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