I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize