I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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