I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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