I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
