Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
