he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
