Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
