then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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