i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My ATM looks so different sober.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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