I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
