Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
