So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You are the jesus of drinking
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
