um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize