My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
