i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize