I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drunk is not a location!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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