took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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