What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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