piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
