Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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