Your dad touched me again.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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