you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
