I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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