im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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