I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
