I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
